


I'll Wash Your Back If You Wash Mine

by InTheShadows



Series: Marvel Polyship Bingo 2020 Fills [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bickering, Bucky Barnes & Winter Soldier are Different Personalities, Decontamination Showers, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, M/M, Minor James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark/Loki/Winter Soldier, Random & Short, Showers, Slime, Tired & Grumpy Avengers, it doesn't make them very nice to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22687285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheShadows/pseuds/InTheShadows
Summary: Tony knows that he should probably stop grumbling. That they are all tired and hungry and frustrated at this point. Complaining isn't going to help anything. Nothing will until they are able to get this slime off of them. Too bad that doesn't stop him. But then Natasha and Clint take exception and things get - tense. It'll be okay though, once he exacts his great and terrible revenge on them. It will all work out. Right? (Right.)---unofficial prequel:Sharp and Glorious---unofficial sequels:Dance Til MorningShop Til You (Or Your Partner) Drops
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark/Winter Soldier
Series: Marvel Polyship Bingo 2020 Fills [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2066109
Comments: 3
Kudos: 218
Collections: Marvel Polyship Bingo 2020





	I'll Wash Your Back If You Wash Mine

**Author's Note:**

> For my Marvel Polyship Bingo, square G3/slime  
> This might be one of my most random stories yet. Seriously, everyone is so damn cranky in this one, where did this come from?

“Oh no Tony,” Tony mutters as he scrubs, “let’s not go with your plan, it might actually work. We wouldn’t want that. Instead let’s go with our brilliant leader’s plan since he’s always right. What can go wrong? It’s not like the slime monster will  _ explode _ or anything, that’s just -” 

“Oh can it Stark,” Clint snaps, “you aren’t the only one covered in this crap. The rest of us have it a lot worse than you do.” He tries, unsuccessfully, to wipe some slime out of his hair. 

“How did you even get some on you?” Steve asks, “The suit is air tight.” 

“Hell if I know,” Tony grumbles, scrubbing harder, “The stuff defies all the laws of physics.” At this point he would have broken skin he’s been scrubbing so hard - if he could get to his skin that is. So far the slime has resisted any and all attempts to remove it, “Which is another thing. Why -” 

“ _ Tony _ ,” Steve sighs, sounding both exasperated and exhausted, “no.” 

“Tony  _ yes _ ,” he corrects. Next he tries ripping it off instead. Just because it didn’t work the first time doesn’t mean it won’t work now. Maybe he’s managed to loosen it up - or not. His nails slide uselessly over it. “It’s like you don’t know me at all. Or trust me. I’m feeling -”

“Will one of you shut him up before I stab him?” Natasha asks Loki and Winter, annoyance clear in her voice. 

“What makes you believe I am capable of that?” Loki asks, as grumpy and put out as the rest of them. He’s been in a foul mood ever since he discovered that the slime is magic resistant. It can’t be banished away anymore than it can be scrubbed away. “Even I cannot perform the impossible.” 

Ouch. Tony is definitely feeling the love alright. “Aw Lokes, you say the sweetest things.” He bats his eyelashes in his direction. 

Loki snorts. 

“I can think of one way,” Clint mutters, face in a permanent scowl at this point. 

“I believe you said - quite forcefully in fact - that you never wanted to see anything of the like.” Loki raises an eyebrow at him. 

“At this point it would be worth it to shut him up.” 

Double ouch. And here they all thought those two would never be able to agree on anything. Just listen to them now, bonding over how annoying he is being. He does love being so helpful. Right. “Sorry birdbrain, but even I have limits. SHIELD’s decontamination showers are on my list of no go places.” 

“And here I thought you were into public sex,” Natasha purrs, “And public nudity. There is certainly enough evidence on the internet.” 

“Plus it’s not as if they can’t already see your junk anyways,” Clint adds helpfully. 

Tony scowls at them to hide the sting at their words. As if he doesn’t know exactly what his past looks like. He was a wild brat, he knows. Why does everyone need to remind him constantly? “Don’t be jealous now. We all know I’m fantastic looking. You on the other hand,” he shrugs, “Just because you have a complex doesn’t mean -” 

Clint throws a brush at him. “Oh  _ shut up _ .” 

Tony dodges it at the last second. Barely. Arrows aren’t the only thing Clint can aim with. “I’m just saying, it’s easy to develop one. Between me and Captain Beefcake over there, not to mention Thundercat when he’s around and -” 

“Checking out other men?” Natasha asks coyly, “How very - brave of you.” 

Tony scowls deepens. “I have eyes, same as you. It’s not like I’m looking on purpose.” 

“Are you sure?” she continues to push, “Especially Thor. How does your boyfriend feel about you checking out his brother?” 

“I’m  _ not _ ,” Tony protests before Loki can respond. This is possibly one of the worst things she could have said. Sure they know that Loki and Thor don’t get along very well, but they have no idea at the depths of the issue. She has no idea how the damage that could do. This is an Issue with a capital ‘I’ and bolded letters. “And I  _ wouldn’t _ , so -”

“Did I hit a sore spot?” she asks sweetly. 

Tony is going to hit her. He’s not violent by nature and has never actually hit anyone out of his suit - or who isn’t a kidnapper in the case of his early years - but he just might make the exception. 

“Yeah man,” Clint chimes in, “I think that lady does doth protest too much.” 

Both of them. He is going to take his revenge out on both of them as soon as he gets out of this shower. Right now he will settle on tearing them apart verbally. “Charming. Why don’t you -” 

“Enough,” Steve cuts in, “all of you. Concentrate on getting this slime off so we can leave.” His tone is strained as if he is seconds away from snapping as well. 

Tony very deliberately turns his back on them, giving them the cold shoulder. Oh sure, now he steps in after the damage is already done. Sure thing oh fearless leader. He sees how it is. Muttering he adds Steve to his revenge list as well. 

He glances over at Loki to find he is stone faced and tense. Obviously those words did exactly what Tony was afraid of. He walks over, laying a hand on his slime covered shoulder. “Hey Lo-lo,” he croons. 

“Save it Stark,” Loki shrugs off his hand. 

“Oh no, trouble in paradise?” Clint pokes. 

Terrible,  _ terrible _ revenge. But Tony let’s it go for now because this is not the place to try and resolve it. At all. Wow isn’t Rhodey going to be  _ super _ jealous that he missed all of this fun. Lucky bastard. The only sound right now is the water pouring down on them. 

With a soundless sigh Tony goes over to Winter instead. He is scrubbing at his skin, a blank look on his face. Obviously he is dealing with this as well as the rest of them. He doesn’t always take over for Bucky when they get called out, but it happened almost immediately this time for some reason. It’s not as if the slime monster was the scariest or deadliest thing they’ve ever faced. 

“Hey Winter Wonderland, you still love me right?” It comes out light, joking, but he is more than half serious at this point. He might start to lose it, if he ends up hating Tony right now too. The tension and exhaustion is definitely getting to him. 

Winter gives a curt nod, but doesn’t say anything. 

Better than nothing anyways. “Turn around will you? I’ll scrub your back for a while. Give me something pretty to look at.” 

There is a snort, but he doesn’t know who did it. Frankly he doesn’t care. He is about to reach his limit and Lovelace help them all if he does. Fortunately Winter turns around at that moment, distracting him. It’s not so much the view that keeps his attention, despite his words, but the trust involved to do this. 

Winter has come a long way since he, via Bucky, first joined them. Hell he’s come a long way since he first joined their relationship. In the beginning he had been half feral, still trying to learn how to be human. Some days are still like that. But here and now he trusts Tony enough to watch his back. It’s an honor. So yeah, it’s more than enough to - mostly - keep his mind off everything else. 

Now if only this damn slime would come off. Seriously what is this stuff made of? More importantly - what was this so called scientist smoking when he made it? Because Tony wants some. Now. Maybe that would be enough to take the edge off of everything. He is still tense, even with his focus on Winter. 

Bruce - another lucky bastard - is currently in one of the labs analyzing the stuff. Hopefully he can come up with something to remove this soon. Clearly this soap isn't going to cut it, even though they all keep trying. Getting clean and getting food and rest is the only thing that is going to improve their moods. 

Tony keeps scrubbing uselessly. 

What feels like an eternity later, Bruce finally comes through for them. A bland faced agent delivers three tubs of - something - before fleeing. Coward. 

Tony reaches over and runs a hand through it. Oh joy, more slime. But when he puts it on Winter’s back there is a popping noise and Tony is able to peel it right off. He grins. Now they are in business. 

The others happily begin to scoop some out of the other tubs. Soon the shower is filled with the sound of popping. 

A hand on Tony’s back makes him jump before realizing it is just Loki. He continues to apply the slime to Tony without a word. Someone obviously isn’t ready for words then. Okay. He turns his attention back to Winter. 

It doesn’t take long before both of them are clean. When they are, they turn their attention to Loki. Double teaming him, they pull the slime off bit by bit. He still doesn’t say anything, but relaxes more and more as it comes off. 

By the time everyone is deslimed and clean, most of the tension has eased. They gulp down the pasta SHIELD oh so kindly ordered for them, get the okay from Bruce and head back home to sleep. Personally Tony cannot wait. 

The three of them head up to the penthouse without any real discussion about doing so. Tony collapses on the bed and is soon sandwiched between his two partners. 

“You okay Lokes?” He is incapable of holding the question in anymore. 

Loki hums in agreement, running a hand along his side. “Your pardon for earlier. I do promise that I have much more trust in you than my actions implied. The slime itched madly to me. I did not mean to take out my foul mood on you.” 

Part of Tony wants to push farther, to make sure, but he manages to stop the words. They can work anything else out once they get some sleep. “How about you Snowflake?” he checks in. 

Winter nods and moves closer. “Acceptable.” 

Good. Tony can feel the rest of the tension melt from him. Good. Everything will be  _ fine _ . That doesn’t mean he still isn’t going to exact his revenge though. He definitely is. He’ll likely have help too, when he does. 

Good. 


End file.
